To quote Gabor Maté, “We should not be asking why the addiction, but rather, why the pain?”
This way of thinking invites us to look back to the younger person and consider what led them to this point in the first place. Nobody chooses to become addicted. Through addiction, people often lose self-respect, housing, employment, relationships, and a sense of purpose.
Substance use is a coping or defence mechanism of the most extreme kind and is very often linked to early trauma. If this is the case, how can addiction be seen as a moral failing? Viewing it as such suggests choice, when in reality addiction develops as a response to overwhelming pain. While behaviours associated with addiction — such as lying or stealing to obtain substances — can be harmful, this does not mean that becoming addicted was a conscious moral decision.
From what I have read and from meeting people in both active addiction and recovery, substance misuse, alcoholism, and other addictive behaviours often begin as attempts to soothe trauma or escape deep emotional pain.
Substances alter the brain’s chemistry and reward systems, mirroring natural dopamine and opiate responses. This is why recovery is an ongoing process — cravings may persist even long after stopping use.
Addiction can feel like an illness or a condition outside of a person’s control. On top of this, individuals face significant stigma, despite the fact that addiction-related behaviours can be damaging to families in much the same way as other mental health difficulties. I don’t believe addiction is a personal failing or simply “bad decision-making,” but I do believe people can be supported to explore what lies beneath it and begin to heal.
While I am not an addiction rehabilitation service, I do offer addiction counselling in Hampshire, providing a safe space to explore the underlying trauma, pain, and emotional patterns that contribute to addictive behaviours.
If you can relate to this and are based in Hampshire or Wiltshire, you are welcome to reach out.