Significant dates such as birthdays, Christmas, and anniversaries can bring our grief into sharp focus.
Strong emotional — and sometimes physical — responses often arise at these times. One reason for this is that our bodies remember attachment and loss through routine, memory, and even the feel of certain times of year. I have experienced this myself — feeling unexpectedly sad, only to realise it is September, the month when I lost a close friend. Certain months or dates can quietly carry meaning, triggering familiar emotional responses.
Recognising and honouring these significant dates can be an important part of the grieving process. This links to the idea of continuing bonds — finding ways to maintain a connection with someone who has died, in a way that feels right for you. These rituals can be meaningful regardless of your personal beliefs about spirituality or the afterlife.
Rather than trying to avoid these days, acknowledging that they may feel difficult can help ease some of the emotional pressure. Acceptance can be kinder than attempting to suppress or dismiss your feelings.
Planning ahead may also help. If you know a particular date is likely to be challenging, you might choose to take the day off work, plan something gentle, or create space to remember your loved one in your own way.
There are no rules around how to spend these days. You may wish to reach out for support, or you may prefer quiet reflection. Practising self-care can be especially important — allowing yourself extra rest, comfort, warmth, and time to do something nurturing.
If you’re finding anniversaries especially hard, bereavement counselling in Hampshire can provide compassionate support. I offer counselling for those living near Romsey, Salisbury, Andover, and Winchester, and I welcome you to get in touch if you’d like support during this time.
Email: [email protected]
Phone: 07759 453339